HaIl StOrM I-PoDs

Mind Blowing?

2011-02-28T22:31:00.002+08:00

Three cheers for the inglorious wicked bastard of a mind I own, Absolutely sick to the core

Pass me the Axe and lets start hacking that stubborned skull

presented, there it is pink as ever, desperate as ever

Gasping, Its GASPING! for some of those lucky succulent blood

wearing its coat of hidden frames, all afraid to let go.. to let go... I cant let go.

"It's terrified".. i know.

watching from bird eyes to the deadly hollow corpse of Mona Lisa

Oh sweet Mona Lisa..

How the boys want you..

How they need you,

and how he wants to undress you, flicking off cotton

To tear at those curves

to fondle.

Loving all over

he leaves marks of blood,

closer to the surface crying for more

slowly but surely he lowers..

but this is where it hits him.

There he lay's.. across her,

one blow from caving in..

2011-02-12T00:20:00.000+08:00

Im thinking of making a new blog .. just me .. but im so lazy...

2011-02-05T14:00:00.001+08:00

im not ganna deny it.. this sucks :(

2011-02-03T12:24:00.001+08:00

I would hate to be the characters in my mind

THats it

2011-01-12T19:20:00.003+08:00

BABY I'M COMING FOR YOU ;) ........ not

2010-12-24T22:49:00.002+08:00

I always feel so alone.
I don't know what to do..
I'm always scared of everything..

Glamorous Indie rock and roll

2010-12-19T01:10:00.004+08:00

The story is beginning kids.. so gather around hug your teddy tightly, get comfy and stay seated

because this story will never end ..

there is no sign like lovers do on silver screen

lets fake it ;)

so will you take my hand in marriage ? im on all two's

but then again it feels like my holding the ghost girl of my dream

like pushing feathers..

forgive me if i lack to care anymore... things are becoming more and more chilled everyday.

BOOM!

..were drifting .. catch the wave?

this one's for u

Tools

2010-11-05T14:25:00.004+08:00

He gave me that vague tale

and from that second on ..

i became a tool of those who feared

i am a fool

to believe it was true

although i'm always watching .. rejection i fear

2010-06-14T16:11:00.001+08:00

i like you so much. every single day when i see your name i wish that you'd just tell me you like me back. i know it can’t work. i know. but right now the way you make me feel is just … unfuckingbelievable.we’ll never end up in a realationship and i love being best friends. but if we ever did get together.. i’d be the happiest guy on earth.

2010-06-02T20:34:00.002+08:00

I have to stop lying to myself; I really like You. It's not just that, Im loving the person I am with you, I love how you make my heart smile, I love the fact that im totally happy when you're around and miserable at the same time, I love it when you hug me 8 million times a day,I love every single thing about you. Too bad that this is only a one way street.

2010-06-02T15:35:00.002+08:00

Your eyes are beautiful (: YOU are beautiful. I can see through you, and I like what I see on the other side. I love your insecurities and I love you just as you are. Why won't you let me like you?

2010-06-01T13:13:00.001+08:00

In the short space of time that i've known you.
You're becoming pretty damn special

2010-05-20T20:42:00.002+08:00

i’m not sure how i feel about you. but when i’m around you, i’m happy. when i hear you talk about him, i’m jealous. when i see you, i hope you’ll say hi to me. and i think we’d be great together but......

fuck it.

hehehe get itt? BUTT FUCK IT
lol
humerous endings make my day
lull

im still wishing on you

2010-05-12T13:29:00.000+08:00

You’re the only one I can’t say I love you to. I say it to my friends all the time because I do love them like a brother loves his brother or sister. But saying I love you to you freaks me out, because the way I love you is the way that Juliet loved Romeo. You’re the one I can see myself 100% happy with. But we’re just friends.. so for now I’ll just stick with saying love you.

This could be the last goodbye?

2010-04-30T11:12:00.000+08:00

You cross your heart. I hope to die

who said fall down pillows cant write music?

2010-04-28T17:24:00.002+08:00

Is it true they say?

You’ve just met someone

Someone you care for

Wasn't prepared for such news

Like it ever will be?

Oh, is he good to you?

And suddenly everything is fading round me

Ain't got nowhere to run
And I know I should let go

I know I should let go

Who is he?

Is it someone I know?

Who’s gonna walk you home

Gonna stand by your porch

Stay til' the lights go on

Tonight is driving me crazy

Seems I kept this for myself

Far to long

And I know it’s to late now

It’s just that friends like you and I

Don't fall in love right

But that’s what I’ve done

you don’t see it

No you never saw the signs

It’s all over town

And there’s one thing you should know

One thing you should know

Nobody loves you like I do

Who’s gonna walk you home

Gonna stand by your porch

Stay til’ the lights go on

Tonight is driving me crazy

If you could change

Your mind

And what if you could see me now

Tell it to my face

This is what you want

what you want

ohhhh

Who's gonna walk you home?

Gonna stand by your porch

Stay til' the lights go on?

Tonight is driving me crazy

Who's gonna kiss you goodnight?

Say I call you tomorrow

I'm not the one

And thinking about you, driving me crazy

Is driving me crazy

driving me crazy

Thinking about you

Who’s gonna walk you home tonight?

She's the one

2010-04-28T16:23:00.003+08:00

I'm not looking to fall in love. I'm not even necessarily looking for a girlfriend right now. All I really want is to find a nice and fun girl I can text late at night, when im still up for no reason or when i cant sleep. Someone i can joke around with, and be stupid with. Someone who likes the same music as me, someone I can easily talk to, someone I can be my total self around and not mind at all. A girl I can waste Friday nights with, laugh with, and have fun with. Someone who's not perfect, but understands me, you know? Is that really too much to ask for?

the day the earth dies

2010-04-27T22:08:00.002+08:00

OMG

guys

its

already

fucking

2010.

i cannot believe it!

dude

its like

soooo

fast

HOLY SHIT

and the world

will possibly end

in the year

2012

omFg!

AHH

the lives we used to live

slowly die away

as we create new memories

and bury the old

in the depths of our story books

we sing

and shout

HALLELUJAH

one day the earth will die

and at that time

we will all be drinking

cold champagne in our glasses

as we say our final toast

to him

to her

to you

to us

GOD BLESS MALAYSIA!

GHAHa

2010-04-20T23:01:00.002+08:00

..

2010-04-18T22:32:00.002+08:00

M for you ?

2010-04-08T23:48:00.004+08:00

What makes the sane twisted ?

What turns the face of the stunning beauty to the posh elegance of contempt?

Does the Prada wearing devil have a story to tell us ?

and still upon staring at those story tellers they send shivers down my skin .. killing sense feel upon my legs now and we're stuck there .. alone

between the murderers looks and succulent lips

you cant help your self but to indulge in her story, her reason, her tale

she looks steady and calm but

.. it lays inside of her

catching each and every prey that falls into her palm, eating, suffocating and in the name of the heart she crucify's them ... the warning

and still, looking back after hearing her scent as she passes by ... I toast to her, holding it up high in the courtyard of luxuries, diamonds and tuxedos.

We smile

and and yet we still bleed

LOL

2010-04-03T12:13:00.001+08:00

... were coming back slowly

2010-02-08T17:51:00.000+08:00

Girl: Rumour has it you like me?
Boy: No, Truth has it i'm in love with you

2010-01-24T23:14:00.001+08:00

The more I read the more I feel like that giant spear is right up my back ...

it's over man ... back to your hole

I really feel like the man on the balcony but this time I'm crounching and nobody can see me,

I'm letting go of everything and everything im holding on too.. what's the fucking use ... back to the other love where I stare at the clouds and count the days till Im not blind anymore

at least I feel now ... the 21 guns pointing up my ass ...

this is srly really really really shit ...

When it strikes ..

2010-01-23T17:21:00.006+08:00

You may ask .. how do hungry and hungary people look like ...

and you get people like this .. which are just stealing and eating my food ..

... but some how the world balances out ..

and then it kicks the bad in the ass..

2010-01-23T11:25:00.000+08:00

she ate my heart

it's sucks bad

2010-01-23T01:04:00.001+08:00

I'm so afraid to show any emotion in my actions bcuz I know you will just stick a giant needle up my back ..

getting drunk alone sucks... nowadays

People

2010-01-20T22:03:00.001+08:00

They were just kids in love
He was just a kid in love with her
But
She wasn't a kid in love with him
And
We were kids not in love
Damn. Wat a waste

The person with many questions not answered

2010-01-19T22:34:00.001+08:00

it's hard to refuse what you've been told, my puppetier told me that he owns me now,

"not one word, I control that beating pulse ..
so forget those petty feelings you have and throw them away"

------xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx---------
I now pronounce you 'heartless'
------xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx----------

and the string tied to my hand with the needle into my skin so deep that I can't forget how I feel and what is going on...

its the second time that the puppetier has pulled on my strings and led me to the direction I wanted to follow.. but the wall hits harder when your eyes are closed and blind , do not pitty the 'bruised'

To: The reader ( population 0 )
I'm sorry for the boring posts .. but I'm not feeling very my self this past day..

I wonder if this posts help anything..

2010-01-17T22:13:00.006+08:00

there's a fear of me, that when the writer writes he holds his pen above the story telling piece of paper and let's the first couple of drops of emotion drip of the pen and imprint the virgin paper

his emotions all held back and illustrated in the couple of tiny dots of the mark ink and if you place your eyes close enough the ink will touch your eye and you will see,

the night of the singing moon playing his harp waiting for the sun to arise again but she dosen't come but only after he gives up time after time and all hope is gone ... she appears

not sure if she really cares about him, even if she can't see him..

but hes there always and never did he leave .. that's why you can still see the moon even on the most beautiful day where the sun got her pearls out,

but he's too sad to show he's face, that upside down smile because she didn't appear when he was strumming his fingers on the bleeding harp crying out for her..

... and a strike of confusion hits him on the back of his head and his mind goes on a trip,

"you like the clouds don't you? you keep hiding behind them. it's like you're afraid to say something to me.." says the moon.

the reply never came because as again they never met.

so i wonder when this sun of his will creep up behind him and his darkness disapears. his shadow disappears, they look into each others eyes and...

'time will tell' :) so turn the clocks forward till we next meet.

*~~~~~*

"And they might ever understand why I do what I do.
but I can only speak my mind,
and what I feel is true,"

2010-01-16T15:55:00.001+08:00

players can be lovers too

Little emo t I o n

2010-01-16T12:28:00.002+08:00

There goes snow white, riding away into the sunset with the one true love and having the happy ending

so what happens to us now?

there's a side of me that wishes she falls off that great white horse and there she is.. lying so silent in the deadness of hospital she awakens all alone and nobody beside her

then she realizes that prince charming isn't next to her.. there's someone out there that still thinks she dwells in the past of life

and everyday when sunshine breaks the darkness she can't move bcuz she dosent remember putting on a jacket when she went on that blind walk with the locals

they cheer her on as she shakes that body that he desires so much but who is he? the ghost of the present, past and future. " boo ! did you miss me? "

the recover session was alright and emotionaless but when you're out there breaking bones that break breaking hearts

we hide from the witch.. hoping that we get our prince charming to save us

"aren't you supposed to be out there"
"no you go first"

jump... jump? jump!

fine we"ll do it together..

1,2,3 !

and I jump but the hand I was holding slips off the edge of the cliff into the lonesome river side

well there's plenty more fish in the sea, I'll just take this juicy gills and use'em

there's still no trust there between heaven and hell is there ? cause we're still waiting for that arrow to shoot us from the back and give us that little extacy everyone desires ...

This is not good!

2010-01-13T18:49:00.005+08:00

I never understood why girls loved lip balm so much until now ...

I decided to experiment ...

On the 12 January 2010

I gave a girl called Sarah King

A packet of these ...

and this was the reaction when she first used it ...

Results:

1. Experiment started to shiver and hyperventilate when lip balm came in sight

2. Experiment uses lip balm and suddenly

3. Experiment has orgasm ..

Lip Balm is a form item that girls used to achieve orgasm,

so fella's if your girl ain't using lip balm she ain't orgasming ...

tip for kin nam

2010-01-12T04:33:00.004+08:00

girls are like apples on trees
the best ones are on the top of the tree
the boys dont want to reach for the good ones because they're afraid of falling
they dont want to get hurt
instead, they just get the rotten apples from the ground
that arent so good but easy
so the apples at the top think something is wrong with them
when in reality they are amazing
they just have to wait for the right man to come along
the one who's actually brave enough to climb to the top

i'm climbed high before,
i've fallen
and it really hurt
but you're right at the top
and maybe im scared i might fall again?
but im still climbing
i think you're worth it (:
this might take awhileeee

2010-01-10T18:24:00.003+08:00

and so i awake to a sleepy dead slumber where the blood again rushes to my head, the water is still and nobody's moving

The say the grass is greener on the other side, paint a picture of a perfect world a picture perfect place ...

... but too much sweaty thoughts have gone into this paper just waiting to run into the closes shredder

[Don't let go] the sign says ... [Warning] the end is near

Im losing it slowly, just so slowly that she knows its not ganna happened again ..

"so when is he ganna pull the bunny out of the hat?"

Never once again but done

That tricks packed, lacked and not surprised

The Magician that can't perform Magic

We just as well might give up the drinks we are drinking and give it ot the drunkard next to you ... at least hes feeling

So im going to boycott this whole process "love"

freeing my hand from the tightening glove

and we're allllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll the way back to square one

Reading the paper:

he died a lonely bastard just like me what'd ya know ..

SKILLAGE

2010-01-10T16:08:00.004+08:00

MOST AMAZING PERSON EVER FOR FIXING THE BLOG?

HELL YEAH!

i feel like a god.

soz for the rape...

i'm just very proud of myself.

2010-01-08T02:15:00.001+08:00

i met someone today
she's really nice :)
i like talking to her
hmmmm...

Hallelujah to the funny posts

2010-01-07T21:41:00.002+08:00

Helle yea! It's starting together funny again this blog!
Imagine one day you wake up in a farm!
Fuck yea!
Aniways. My topic today is
Daniel Wank Wen Han.
He likes to play with two cock like sticks called drumsticks.
Well Daniel... Hmmm he likes to wank .
He is fun
He is loolingly retarded sumtimes.
He is a pedo ( definately )
He dreams of mr t spanking... Nvm
He likes many things.

(THIS GUY IS PRETTY GAY)

His favourite passtimes probably fapin.
Overall. He's a pretty good dude.
Owh well I geuss.. You can't all be perfect.
Especially you dan =]
Teehee
So now is the mings 30 min appreation time for dan.
Have a good year dude. Peace

2010-01-07T20:55:00.003+08:00

MEET DANIEL WONG
HE BEST DRUMMAH IN THE WORLD
the way he holds his drumsticks
its like he's got c _ _ k in his hand
R.E.S.P.E.C.T

brothaa lovee to wankalot :)

Retard

2010-01-07T15:17:00.009+08:00

In my opinion the guy with the post below is trying way too hard.. that ma fucka prob dosen't own one of these babies !!!

(Hi my name is David)

wooo !! look how happy that fella is !!

he looks happy doesn't he ? does he?? DOES HE MOTHER FUCKING REALLY ????

Come with me and lets explore hes INSANE PENIS MIND

Look through!

( hahah ) Here we see this .. Penis Man ..We shall call him Charles

and now lets explore deeper !

OMG

Hey it could be worst ... you could end up looking like this guy

mamamia speggiti balls

2010-01-06T22:04:00.002+08:00

hello monkey butts , your commander soapbob circlepants just checking up on the secret club.
oh yes !!! the secret club !!! ta te da!!!

you are all invited to the secret club except there are some requirements in order to join this superlativeciousexperdiciiuspenisiamnotgayijusthaveabigtoe club

Number 1: each member MSG ( WTF ) !!!!!
Number 2: each member must have attained level 5 on garena and if you are a girl u must have shaved legs ( I'm sorry _amita you can't join )
Number 3: everme. ( WTF )
No.4 ( I got lazy ): each member must have eyebrowns.5: luul I am a accountant look at me!! O-O

now receite after me:

I .......... the club member, mesti be able to cakap bagus england kepada ppl ppl yang I like, saya also Suka rape little anak when the mother watching and the bapA berak, I the club member also suka bang sai di water stools while constanly doing the ultraman sign and saying. " you have no toe nails hahah go marry a camel you hunchback of notradome "
Question of the day: to all the ppl who said when pigs fly they will do or commit something.. don't they know they transport pigs in aeroplane's ?? bodoh !!!

finally we have arrives at the destination , and u all are members of the "Buku is untuk reading and not for wiping backside" club
thank u and cum again

2010-01-06T01:40:00.000+08:00

fadaa

eyy missed you in school TODIE

get better yea?
if i could drive i'd be visitng you right now :)
but i cant
ahaha
sorry buddy

if this is swine flu, i'll hit fawkenersaurus and sophie for you

feelings

2010-01-05T19:30:00.001+08:00

I feel so ...

cold
lonely
unloved
desperate
sick
curious
deserted
scared
uncomfortable
sad
worried
hungry
tired
wishful
thristy
stress

never before ...

I don't like hospitals .. but I respect the people working for it .. :( :(

2010-01-04T21:00:00.001+08:00

you dont even care about me anymore.

2010-01-04T17:55:00.001+08:00

i wish this would just stop
and you would just get out
and i would just move on
'

LOL IM NOT GONNA LISTEN TO YOU
THIS PLACE IS NOT A BLOG ANYMORE
FUCK YOU ALL
this place
is the 3am release
suck
my
cock

the total hypocrite

2010-01-03T22:30:00.001+08:00

... and so I ask not to write depressing material which dosen't benefit the fate of the world anymore but yet i don't have a home to turn to when I feel the urge to pass this dark deep demon tapping on my shoulder and shouting in my ear.

I don't think there is another way to let go of my sins anymore, all stuck in my head, causin my outer apperence ...
he looks steady, ready and calm..

but it's just another time ticking bomb ..and from the public we don't want to hear your tales unless you ripped yourself from head to toe.

it's another of his 'moments' again.

they don't see , they don't feel what he has to say bcuz readin this from the aspect of the outsider, it means absolutely nothing

so he turns to his faithful typin thumbs and asks..

"just one more time?"

and they do what he say.. bcuz it isn't just a blog anymore ... it's a diary of his hate, depression and sins into one compact universe of the internet,

so give me a pen and paper and I'll write and write till you see through the eyes of the nariator

2010-01-02T20:51:00.000+08:00

HERSTORY IS OFFICIALLY
FALL DOWN PILLOWS

2009-12-31T17:03:00.001+08:00

wow,,, that picture
3 hours
you're beautiful

Angel from my nightmares

2009-12-31T03:52:00.001+08:00

sometimes... i do think bout us...
ya know... us..
what
the
fuck
happened?

2009-12-30T03:05:00.001+08:00

you'll probably never see this
but after we talked
after what we said to each other
the promises
the new promises

you need to know that

i never stopped loving you.
i just stopped showing it.

Rock on..

2009-12-29T11:07:00.004+08:00

nothing brings me to the clouds like a good deadly melodic sound of gourgeous screaming and heavy metallic tunes
( besides girls )

tightened by the sharp piecing rhythms of the electric guitar quickly shocks your body with energy and suddenly your body is filled with the amount of adrenaline which causes your hands and legs to shiver from the sound, it dosent end there! what about that sick mind blowing guitar solos which totally rips a singers voice into shereds, having a voice of it's own it speaks to the ppl causing total mental breakdown and worhiping to the player, this is the make or break part.

this is added with the heaviest, craziest and insaniest (wtf?) beat of the finate piece of the drum kit. with the sound of the loud smashes of those shinny bronze and slick crashes and the kicks of the double bases drumming through your head like a mother fucker smashing your head onto a table! don't forget of the leader: snare causing your heart to jerk and pump so much blood till your fucking head explodes!! boom baby!

hahah

next we have the ear breakin ,sound numbing, bass player which holds a deadly weapon which blows your ear drum's to pieces! nothing can be compared by the sound of the deafening strum of those heavy wired and thick strings and the insane low frequency making sound that can be heared from a mile away! impossible isn't it? but it's true

finally summed up with a face catching soul speaking of the voice! an instrument of it own kind, creating it's own melody it is a fused into a form of insanity with the accompaniment the entire band. they say music is a universal langunage, the voice is the translator for humans!

would you like metal with that?

.. and a large pitcher of screams and a devil horn pls.

l,,l

2009-12-29T01:41:00.000+08:00

yay for tonight and the nights to come :)
i missed you

2009-12-28T15:01:00.001+08:00

i've never gotten so jealous just by looking at a picture...
fml
stop
stop
stop
stop
stop
stop
stop
stop
hey we had a chilled and proper
and like.. chilled
and non murder
conversation yesterday
yayyy
i wanna be us again.

the worlds lost another

2009-12-28T14:21:00.002+08:00

I'm here to pay my respects
to family of which im not related
to a friend i've never met

may you R.I.P

to the man upstairs,

look after him

till the day we finally meet

just rest till the day

oh second heartbeats

may angels lead you in

Good bye i guess

2009-12-27T21:15:00.002+08:00

Did you wanted this to happen like this?
Did you believe that things always slowly die.
The things you want...
The things you love....
The things you do...

Those good times you had with us...
All just memories now in my mind...
It will never disappear...

I hope your doing good up there..
When its finally my turn to ascend..
I'll finally manage to live in paradise with you..

Good night...my sweet uncle

25th

2009-12-26T14:16:00.001+08:00

do I still remember the last time I saw him smile?
durin the times we were all content with life probably

I still remembered those lines Ming and I laughed and repeated constantly : ) ?

" huang how many jolly shandys have u dranked? "
" just two only "
" bullshit "
hahah .. haha?

"don't go anywhere until I come back "
I guess he didn't remember those words

it saddens me deeply to see one so close fly towards the clouds without sayin goodbye.. it happened so fast we couldn't catch the flying soul,

-XXXXXXX-

... and if you think back what was I doing what was he doing at the moment, I remember he was still smiling..

i look at you now and I can see a little sprit died within yourself, torn and taken. you carry an aura of sadness and only yesterday u was smiling and laughing

now you're sitting in the room staring at your phone trying to contact the others

"are you sad?"
I remembered he told me he can't cry.. and so he's hardened soul that he has been building up all these years shallows the sadness and carries on..

you always tells me to use my brain and not my heart
I guess you're showing us that you're strong, for the family..

... well I've known him for 16 years and it has been a pleasure,

(25 December) brings christmass sadness

Christmas sadness

2009-12-25T16:12:00.001+08:00

Rest in Peace ..

2009-12-25T03:01:00.001+08:00

i fucking give up
you dont even try to make things better
why do i bother,,

butterd toast

2009-12-24T19:52:00.002+08:00

he's smiling... but he doesn't mean it. hhe misses how they used to be...
and he misses how it was so real how they cared for each other
but most of all,
he misses her always being there for him
with her telling him everything will be okay

because he needs that now,
more then ever.
he's sick of feeling like something's missing..

Not everything's gonna be picture perfect

sometimes.. things take time

and sometimes,

they have a rough time to get through, before you even get there

but if you give up on things you want...

then..

everything you've already gone through

ends up being completely worthless

and maybe..

if someday you realise we havnt talked in awhile

it's not because i dont care anymore..

its because you pushed me away

and just left me there.

tell me what i have to do tonight

because i'd do anything to make it right

im sorry for the way i lost my head

let's be us again

because i'm sorry i'm not the guy you wanted

2009-12-24T15:56:00.004+08:00

as he sits in the corner
face to the floor
he dispels smoke from his lips
and slowly floats away with it
letting go of so much pain
his tears are thick enough to stain
the pavement that slowly becomes
his best friend when he needs to run away...

broadway is dark tonight
i quit. everything

i used to think that if i liked you enough, you'd realise
and like me back

you just lost the one guy who thought nothing was wrong with you

2009-12-24T00:04:00.003+08:00

Tonight is the one thing left
and he hasnt said anything yet
he's falling
and he's writing on the walls

today was misery
and he cant believe it happened
he finally brokedown
now he's crying out...

secret love my escape

take me far far away

secret love are you there?

will you answer my prayer?

please take me anywhere but here

he has 2 girls in mind

the one that killed him

the one that brought him back

and when he's with her

thoughts of her

disappear

if he fell apart

she'd heal this pain he felt

my name is amir gan,

i make this obvious for my totally unrelated sister whom i love very much (:

she's always looking out for me, what a stalker

and on the other hand,

i fucked up bad...

and i just ruined my friendship with the best friend you could ask for

sigh...

im sorry for everthing

i hope you'll forgive me..

dont you ever wish, you could just turn back time?

or maybe

edit

undo

things would've been the same if i just kept my mouth shut..

you have no idea how much i wish everything could just go back to normal

i'd give anything

to have you back

and to have us back to what we were

im sorry, that im such a fucking asstard

his mind is gone, he's spinning 'round

and deep inside his own tears, he'll drown

he's losing grip

whats happening?

you were my best friend, till i screwed everything up

and it cut me like a knife

when you walked out of my life..

the boy?

well..

he's in a condition

with all the symptoms

of a boy with a broken heart.

how did i get here with you...

i'll never know

i never meant for it to get so personal

and after all i tried to do

to stay away from loving you

im broken hearted.

im not in love with you.

i'll stay away

i'll do whatever i can

im just gonna stop

because, i want you back

so badly

i miss you every night

maybe after new years?

see you soon

2009-12-23T23:32:00.002+08:00

AMIR GAN DOESNT LIKE KATY JONES
best friends
like
spongebob and patrick (:

2009-12-23T23:02:00.003+08:00

tonight
was happy
was sad
was happy
was sad
was happy
was sad
stayed sad
got happy
stayed happy
now sad.
no mentioning hurt more than it should

feelin blank

2009-12-23T05:51:00.003+08:00

I'm lacking inspiration. emotion and sense

in need of a little of it..

.. been gone for far too long

where is everything?

somebody say something!!

I need to feel again.. to see mabye s.o.m.e.o.n.e again..

2009-12-23T00:21:00.003+08:00

The boy tries to move on
but everytime the girl tell him she loves him
he trips
and he gets hurt
sticks and stones may break his bones
but her words
they surely kill

if i was with you right now
i bet you my life
we'd continue right where we left off
no matter what

because first loves, are scarred on your heart
forever and always
and when you promise forever
you mean it.

i wish for now, you'd stop saying i love you
maybe in 5 years
i'd smile again hearing you say that
remember our promise?
if im 25 and we're both single we'd get married
i have amazing insurance

why am i thinking of you again, we only talked for 5 seconds..

2009-12-22T19:43:00.002+08:00

the man best friend
the woman best friend
the woman best friend knows the man best friends better than he knows himself
the best friends share a laugh
its obvious they love each other
but just as friends
they care for each other

boy: hey you
girl: hahahhahhah
boy: whats so funny?
girl: why are you wearing make up? you're a guy ahah doosh
boy: im not wearing make up?
girl: yes you are, that smile
boy: im smiling... since when was that bad?
girl: fake smiles are always bad
boy: its not fake
girl: yes it is
boy: what makes you say it's fake?
girl: im your best friend
boy: you know me too well. creeper stalkerrr
girl: teehee, so whats wrong?
boy: im depressed (:
girl: you suck
boy: you swallow :)
girl: dirty boyyy
boy: teeheee

so what happens when the one falls for the other?

aaaaaaaachoo

2009-12-21T23:21:00.002+08:00

yea...
you know that post
where i used alot of colors?
i think i might have had a littttlee mental brokedown
breakdown
NO BROKEDOWN SOUNDS COOLER (:
teehee

ahhaha so yea fml,
the new post, the one before this
just to lighten up the mood :)

we have to talk.
i think thats all i have to say.
wednesday?
maybe?

i'll do anything

2009-12-21T16:31:00.003+08:00

go make your next choice
i could be your best choice
are you in the mood for some dude?
or would you rather just mingle?
let's get set to go then, let's just jet ike the jetsons
you can be jane my wife

should i marry jane tonight?
i would if i could..
i'd do anything spontaneously

or lets just keep chilling like ice cream filling
we can be cool and the gang (:
if you'd rather hang
this place is getting crowded
if you could be nimble you'd have to be simple
like me :)
so go on, try it
dont deny yourself the freedom
of being simply awesome
simply spartan
hahaha

so lets go
c'mon
step up to the plate and get a date with A Gan ;)
you better act fast, because supplies they never last
now did you know that this is a limited time offer?
make up your mind, before our time's up
better wind it up, things are almost over
and you should know, i can go a little bit slower

you know i would, and i can prove it.

2009-12-21T16:22:00.000+08:00

WHY

I fucking hate that word...

Christmas joy?

2009-12-21T13:41:00.001+08:00

it's almost Christmas, the season to be joyous and relax..
..all those green, white and red
dosent that leave tingles in your body? mabye a little shiver?

does the the calming stale tunes of christmas carols brighten your day?

so have you tried being in alone in the quite of your room and turned on one of the carols?
turned on your a.c to the max bcuz it can get a little toasty in Malaysia?
then quickly climb the steps into your bed and snuggle tight into your blanket, and allow your body to search for the warmth,
pls do forget the make up forget the fashion and put on some comforts mabye your favourite pjs and as you lay there allow your mind to drift off into the infinity of space

but does your mind come across the astoroid feild? where your wants and hopes don't come through?

like that little disabled boy/girl only wishing for mabye his/ her limbs to grow back?

" moommy do u think Santa will Bring me back some seeds to grow back my toes? "

poor boy only wanted to feel how funny it would be when he wiggled his little toes. ..once again

so do u know where your heart is?
I know where mine is..

so enjoy your Christmas with the life we take of granted, pls .. live to max

2009-12-20T16:01:00.002+08:00

I dont know why.
you never liked meeee
and you never would.
you never led me on
you never said, or did anything to suggest that you liked me
but i liked you anyway
i think you're gorgeous (:
anddd
im just head over feels for you
i know you're beautiful.
which means silly guys are throwing themselves at you from all directions
maybe you'd consider me one of those silly guys
maybe i am..
i cant believe i is doing thisss
haha
i cant believe i like you so much
i lie to some
saying i dont like you to others
because you dont like me.
AND THE TRUTH IS
i like you
i might even love you
buttttt
actually i dont know
you dont like me back
i cant escape from that fact
what do you want me to do?
im just a guy..
i believe in fairy tales :)
there's only so much hurt i could handle
i guess im not good enough for you
people wont pair me with you

you are the golden girl
im just the guy in the shadows...

i love you
how many times do you want me to say that?
i love you
i do
i do
I DOES (:
i dont know what i want..
do i want you to love me too?
i dont know
well, i do
i dont know..
this hurts tooo muchh aiyoo
im suffering
it sucks
things arent meant to be likes this in fairy tales
princes and princesses are supposed to live happily ever after
maybe I ISNT the prince?
so then.. why do i think you're my princess..
i just dont know how to let go.
would someone please teach me?
i need to get over you.
i hope i would

2009-12-20T14:33:00.001+08:00

i cant hide it anymore
i love you
and its the old story
boy meets girl.

give us a chance.

2009-12-19T22:56:00.002+08:00

Is it a risk to love?

What if it doesn't work out?

Ah, but what if it does?

-Peter McWilliams

enlightment

2009-12-19T12:30:00.001+08:00

A little birdy
once told me,
that I should be,
trying not once but three

times a charm
that my heart beat to the tempo of a drum,
and my little typing thumb
making.you scream and come

to the sound of the song
with the knock of the gong
you suddenly realize what you missing all along

that little boy standing in rain with a bouquet of wet, damp, saddened flowers forgotten to be picked up
due to the fear that when she touches the roses they will bite her back with the insecure torns she once felt before...

... but she doesn't notice

... that the little boy cut the torns off

a blossomed flower blooming so open and kindness but why dosent she rush out in the rain and saved the flowers

is she afraid that the rain will pull her down ? by dampening her and adding weight to her Hand Holding Heart that finally one day the rain pulls her so down that she never gets up .. again

at this point the boy is enduring and securing everything the world has to throw at him and he gets fustrated

and guess what he does ?

he walks right up to her hands her the tornless flowers and goes in for the kiss ...

this is how love is repaired xx enjoy

if only you knew

2009-12-19T02:02:00.005+08:00

where do we stand?

you're so... different to me now..
it really sucks... :( :(
i miss you.
i dont want to drift any further apart from you.
cant we go back to normal?

like seriously.,. im sorry if i did anything wrong.
and im sorry that i like you
but that doesnt mean everything has to completely change
especially like this.. :(
so please?

can we make it through this avalanche?

today never happened.

2009-12-18T20:54:00.003+08:00

The tension is here.

Between who you are
And
Who you could be.

Between how it is

And

How it should be.

I dare you to move :)

Anything can happen.

2009-12-18T19:01:00.006+08:00

G.C

Graciano

Tucho

You were a damn good friend.

Sucks like shit i never got to see you again...

You take care up there yea?

I'll join when my time's up.

Love you bro.

Santa Ana Cemetary

Luanda, Angola

It's your final resting place.

Graciano Olivio Cruzeta

"Tucho"

R.I.P

Graciano & his older sister at her wedding.

2 asians, and the african mafia (:

fucking miss you guys.

On sleepless roads

the sleepless go.

May angels lead you in.

I TRIED doosh

2009-12-18T18:18:00.002+08:00

Im looking at pictures of us,
from before i liked you.

hoping that it might help?

worst idea i ever had.

bahahhaa

epic fail :)

NEW PLAN TOMORROWWW

and for noww

well,

yea

im stuck on you :)

2009-12-18T02:44:00.004+08:00

Hey.

So i just realised, i've never actually straight out mentioned your name here.
I think i'll keep it that way.
But then again, i've already made it so obvious right?
I mean.. i wasnt at any other girls house on a monday afternoon
you're the only girl in my english class i've had feelings for.
you're my best friend
you're the B (:
you RRRRR fucking amazing
you're alot more than what i've already mentioned here :)
bahhahaha

so i was being a real sadass
and using a random love calculator i found on hyuns blog
yea... lovedrunk and crushing, you do the craziest things (:

Muhammad
Amir
Abdullah
Sani
+
_ _ _ _
_ _ _
_ _ _ _ _

= 89.5%

i think, thats really damn cool (:

i've never actually told you in person, exactly how i feel.

and, our conversation at shriyas.. never really finished properly

interrupted by a phone call

i think we need to talk.

and i think you need to know, just how crazy

i feel about you

i find myself, scared that you'll read this and the others

but i also find myself hoping that i'd cross your mind.

hoping that i'd cross your mind long enough, to make you wonder whats on my mind.

and by crossing your mind, and wondering whats on my mind, you'd read the blog.

and by reading the blog, you'll no longer need to wonder whats on my mind. its all there.

you're on my mind.

i just find myself, hoping you'll read this,

and maybe

you'd realise that maybe i do deserve you :)

wtf am i talking about..

its 3am again.

im losing sleep.

again.

please dont feel guilty,

its not your fault

ITS MY HEART (:

stupid retard, made me fall in love with my best friend.

what a doosh.

heart, if your name was JAMAL

i'd say

fuck you JAMAL.

lol mallika (:

I SHOULD TOTALLY HAVE A DIARY

i tihnk i've already turned my blog posts to diary entries

its time for a revolution babyyyy

so yea, i think i'll go to bed.

you're on my mind

24/7

360/12

haha

all the time

sweetdreams

you're the best unicorn sheep in the world :)

i'll find you some awesome grass to eat

FROM SPARTA

ahah im obsessed with 300

saddoo much.

shriya bullied me today.

MALLIKA SHARMA IS DAMN COOL

OH OH OH

DUDE!!!

bahahhaha

one more thing.

i will always be here for you.

forever

and

always

im the guy, you can talk to about anything.

and, im also the guy

thats

crushing on you like some sad loser (:

so now, what do you get

when you combine the guy

that you're totally comfortable with

best guy friend

SPARTAN

the guy who's promised will always be your best friend

the guy who's promised to look after you

the guy who's told the world he's in love with you

and the guy, who wont let anybody hurt you

in my opinion.

totally awesome boyfriend (:

BAHAHHAHAH

well i think its nice to fall for the best friend.

i trust you

and i care about you.
and

I ALREADY SAID EVERYTHING ALREADY.

take a chance on me :)

"we'll make it, i swear"

- Amir Gan in his dream before prom

btw ian, i fucking da miss you, got a lotta da shit to tell you and da blog, has fucking transformeddddd :)

its damn coool

hahaha

come back to the motherland

2009-12-17T22:01:00.000+08:00

NEW FACE

mafia

2009-12-17T17:32:00.001+08:00

sometimes you have to follow your heart even if it leads you to a place you know you're not supposed to be...

Yes please, counter ms fairy :)

we love you

G fada

G wall

G wise

G tower

Hopes

2009-12-17T13:42:00.001+08:00

you know i was wondering ..... if a fairy would put a counter on the blog ... just hoping .. you know ?

penisman

2009-12-17T12:09:00.000+08:00

For the post below
i remember your 3am post of omfg expression releaseee (:

ahaha air hockey ftw
arcade
fun

come back to the motherland
g fadaaa

the crew misses u
the FAMALAY

stupid crush,,

NO tittly

2009-12-17T11:40:00.000+08:00

Ok the tittle for the name is pretty random..

For the post below dayumm you write alot and coincidence in my opinion ppl get strikes of feelings that they need to express at 3 am hahha :)

..and for the rapistarah , holy flippinaduda made me laugh

Would i invite my neighbours over and shit on the table ?

keep you posted .. i went to the museum , then lunch , shopping , dinner and back

you're amazing

2009-12-17T01:58:00.000+08:00

and its so crazy how you walked into that room

just like every other day

....except this time, my heart skipped a beat.

and its actually tearing me up.

having these feelings for you.

but i cant get rid of them.

late at night

when all the world is sleeping

i stay up and think of you.

TEEHEEEEEE

im sorry, i know im meant to be normal and pretend i dont like you and all that crap?

but

its like... SUPER HARD

hahah

i like you so much, im losing my mind (:

for someone who's supposed to be "just friends"

why do i always get butterflies in my stomach just thinking about you?

no matter how many times i remind myself that we cant be together.

i still wont let myself fall for anyone else.

why am i still waiting for you?

you already

basically said

no.

so, why?

we've known each other a year now

in person

friends :)

best friends forr

i dont even known anymore

a long time :)

how come i never noticed you before?

well.. you did have a boyfriend.

and, i had a girlfriend.

and

oh shit

i have secrets i havnt even told you about

i.was.a.bad.boyfriend.

and so, i've realised i shouldnt be apologizing for my feelings.

cos that would be like.. apologizing for the truth?

thats bad :)

i dont know if i like you or love you.

i dont know if i want you or need you.

all i know.

is that i love the feeling i get when im near you

when i broke up with T _ _ _ A

i thought.. i'd lose the ability

smile for no reason (:

i was right.

but you gave that back to me

thank you,

i wish, you'd realise just how amazing you are to me

and how amazing we could be

and

just

how amazing

yea :)

i wish the dream i had before prom

came true

it was the best

i wish, i was more than just a friend to you

i wish you'd fall for me too

i wish

for alot of things

IM A BEGGAR (:

hhahahhaa

i wonder what'll happen if you end up reading alllll of this

and all the other posts

if it does anything,

i've never thought about you

'that' way before

this crush

falling in like

or love

i dunno

RUSH OF OMFG EMOTION I HAVE FOR YOU

is purely based

on how much i love being with you (:

you're fucking amazing

your smilee

your laugh

your eyes

your retardedness in your room (:

your fake crying cos your ex called you a bitch (:

your extreme addiction to sms'ing

your B in BFF (:

your 'AIYOO' in maths :)

your living close to me

your being a day older than me

hahah no wait, thats not something i should like

hahahah

i think i fell in love with our friendship

i had fun putting sparkly stuff on the christmas tree :)

anddd my mind was on overdrive, i completely forgot the speakers

ahahha fml.

it hurt to hear you talk about how much you liked him...

this is a MOTHERFUCKING LONG POST

TEEHEEE

we'll always be best friends.

and thats a promise.

and if something magical happened,

it'd just be even better :)

thats how i see whats going on.

you tried to see me more than a friend but you cant cos its weird, cos im your bff?

i know from experience,

that two best friends

getting together

actually IS

fucking amazing :)

if you're scared cos of what happened with her

then just know that

you're here

and she's there

and we'll have no reason

to ever

break up

unless you randomly decide to tell me you're a jew

NAZII REGIMEE

OVENS PREPARE

HAHAHAH

jk jk that was rude, i apologize worldwide to everyone.

i honestly dont know what im saying anymore,

its 3 in the morning

and im writing this

talking to myself

FOR EVERYONE TO SEE

why dont you give us a chance? and you'll see just how amayzing we could bee (:

i've said amazing so many times

you're amazing

hahaha

no really

you are

everything about you (:

and what you wrote on my status..

you deleted the ones i did

but why didnt i delete mine?

it took me awhile to realise

but after i did

i realised, it was cos its true (:

DELETING THE TRUTH IS BADD

muahahha

im not scared to tell you exactly how i feel

im just scared to see how you react

im not ready to be broken again :(

you can fix me :)

FIX MEE PLEASEEE

hehehhehe

ok i'll say it now

and i wont regret it

i love you

WHATACATCH,[insert name here]

2009-12-16T22:14:00.000+08:00

No one in that picture wrote this..

or did they?

I'm sick of hearing the same old song.

That shits getting old dear.

Same story, different interest.

Tired eyes

You are all the same...

Overhead, our love fades

Tired of wasting sleep...

It's funny how not everyone realises who this is...

Miss. Fack said "I still want you back"

Now it's up to you to determine who Miss Flack is and who she wants back.

Darling please,

I'm the one who charmed the one

Who gave up on you.

Fuck you spell checker for saying I typed colour wrong.

I'M USING THE QUEENS ENGLISH BITCH!

LOOK AT ALL THE PRETTY COLOURS!

Wipe that smile off your fucking face.

I just wanna make you smile so heres something different.

2009-12-16T19:42:00.000+08:00

YOU MAKE MY HEART SMILE

...... teehee (:

let's just be friends.
and who knows
maybe you'll fall for me too :)
and if you dont..

i'll trip you :)
HEHEHEHHEHEHHEHE

A girl

2009-12-16T14:34:00.000+08:00

Her name is sacred and it rhymes with supacalafraagelistichippiileceuouuarah or americah or pizzah or kakah or hahah

Guess who it is?

Answer: Mc Quay !! jk

Yeah you know who it is .. the only person who reads the blog.

i'll try to keep posting since you requested:)

Sweet Darling

2009-12-16T14:10:00.000+08:00

Fine. I admit it.

I think of you every second of every day.

You're my favourite subject to talk about.

When i hug you, i wish i could never let go.

Most of all my dreams have you in them.

I always get excited when i see you again.

[][]

\_____/

ahahha wtf, that's a damn cool smile

spartan :)

wawawewa

2009-12-16T14:01:00.000+08:00

Your favourite colour :)

For you I Will

i always want what i can't have

but I've got to try.

she's my favourite hello.

and my hardest goodbye.

2009-12-16T01:26:00.000+08:00

Among your friends. I care for you the most
Among your friends. I love you the most
Among your friends. You hurt me the most

Because i know that's all i am to you...

Among your friends...

2009-12-15T21:30:00.001+08:00

i love you

2009-12-15T00:14:00.000+08:00

i wish you could see how perfect we could be

THIS IS SPARTAAAAA

2009-12-14T23:29:00.000+08:00

I actually LOVE talking to you

hahaha it makes me happy (:

ahhhhhh!

i really

really really

reallyreallyreallyreallyreallyreally

like you

hahaha fml.

im sorry that i do.

it caught me by surprise

i think its a bit retarded im apologizing for liking someone

oh well

nothing is normal when you're SPARTAN!

aiyoooo

2009-12-14T15:37:00.001+08:00

i dont want to get over you.

but everyone says i have to

and i guess their right..

but its just so fucking harddd

i think you're amazing

AIYO

moomooo

2009-12-12T16:39:00.000+08:00

so put your best dress on

and wrap yourself in the arms of someone

who wants to give you all the love you want

heyy

2009-12-12T14:25:00.000+08:00

THINGS TO DO TODAY:

(1) Wake Up

(2) Think of You ♥

(3) Survive

and i wish sometimes, when i tell you im fine,

you'd look me in the eyes and say

"tell me the truth"

and its insane how i can have a completely shit day

and just talking to you

completely changes my mood

question 10.

you have no idea how much i wish your answer was yes

how much i wish

your answer was me

question 13

same story

same sad story

im such a saddo

i really really like you

and i know saying that doesnt do anything

but its nice to let it out

at least i tried

and who knows,

maybe you'll read these and change your mind (:

yea... who am i kidding

and i wish more than anything, that last night would be the same as my dream the night before.

it was a nice dream. it made me smile. it made me happy.

we didnt even talk.

at all

it hurt

i dont know what to think anymore

fml.

im seriously just writing everything here about this, in no order at all.

this is how spartans do it

HURGHH!

i've given up.

i havnt given up on you.

i've given up, on trying to give up on you.
im smart enough to not bother with something so hard

spartan logic is undeniable (:

btw.

am i number 4?

if there was a word between like and love

i'd use that to tell you exactly

how i feel

about

you

im gonna stop all the bad habbits.

all for you

i really hope you feel better

im a fucking idiot.

sheep <3

2009-12-09T23:37:00.000+08:00

Yeah
We started as friends
But something happened inside me
Now I'm reading into everything
But there's no sign you hear the lightning

I've made it obvious
I've crushed on you so long, but on and on you get me wrong
I'm not so good with words
And since you never notice
The way that we belong

I'll say it in a love song

and you dont even notice how i stare when we're alone

you're my first thought in the morning

and my last at night (:

and, you're the crush that came without warning

i'll say this until the day you're holding me

i adore you

and im in like with you

but since you never seem to see

i'll say it in this love song

im in like with you

2009-12-08T22:56:00.001+08:00

and you were always there

so how come i never noticed you before?

how come now now i do?

and i really really really do like you

and you dont

and now im depressed

ffs

why do i always have to be

fucking

depressed

its not healthy

sweet darling, this is my confession to

the crimes of wanting you

and if you're still wondering

yes. i like you

i dont love you

i cant love you

or at least i dont think i do.

i am

truly

madly

deeply

in like with you

hearts and rosess

It comes

2009-12-08T19:23:00.001+08:00

They say it takes a life time for a person to change...

You take some isolation add a little of worry and trouble and mix it all into a pot of desperation and need.

It forms an aura of negativity, and when u look

"who is that?"

the words sip through your nose, down the neck , pass the muscles and into the heart

change is inevitable but for the bad isn't

The openness , the caring, the laughs

i feel now
what was supposed to be felt months ago ..

Every now and then i peak through the corner of my saddened eye ... is it still her?

question: is this still me?

man it really sucks..
i can't do anything because somehow i kinda blame myself for having to do something with this..

all those dammed feeling turned my head

i cant bare to be away from you but neither can i be beside you..

I cant help but know there's a little something inside the colorful butterfly which contains my little black and white patch

Everybody knows, everybody knows where we're going .. yeah we're going down ...