Keep my secret.

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- Thursday, December 31, 2009 @ 5:03 PM wow,,, that picture 3 hours you're beautiful

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Angel from my nightmares - @ 3:52 AM sometimes... i do think bout us... ya know... us.. what the fuck happened? Labels: Time flies when your breathing...

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- Wednesday, December 30, 2009 @ 3:05 AM you'll probably never see this but after we talked after what we said to each other the promises the new promises you need to know that i never stopped loving you. i just stopped showing it. Labels: the lover

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Rock on.. - Tuesday, December 29, 2009 @ 11:07 AM nothing brings me to the clouds like a good deadly melodic sound of gourgeous screaming and heavy metallic tunes ( besides girls ) tightened by the sharp piecing rhythms of the electric guitar quickly shocks your body with energy and suddenly your body is filled with the amount of adrenaline which causes your hands and legs to shiver from the sound, it dosent end there! what about that sick mind blowing guitar solos which totally rips a singers voice into shereds, having a voice of it's own it speaks to the ppl causing total mental breakdown and worhiping to the player, this is the make or break part. this is added with the heaviest, craziest and insaniest (wtf?) beat of the finate piece of the drum kit. with the sound of the loud smashes of those shinny bronze and slick crashes and the kicks of the double bases drumming through your head like a mother fucker smashing your head onto a table! don't forget of the leader: snare causing your heart to jerk and pump so much blood till your fucking head explodes!! boom baby! hahah next we have the ear breakin ,sound numbing, bass player which holds a deadly weapon which blows your ear drum's to pieces! nothing can be compared by the sound of the deafening strum of those heavy wired and thick strings and the insane low frequency making sound that can be heared from a mile away! impossible isn't it? but it's true finally summed up with a face catching soul speaking of the voice! an instrument of it own kind, creating it's own melody it is a fused into a form of insanity with the accompaniment the entire band. they say music is a universal langunage, the voice is the translator for humans! would you like metal with that? .. and a large pitcher of screams and a devil horn pls. l,,l Labels: Ian

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- @ 1:41 AM yay for tonight and the nights to come :) i missed you

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- Monday, December 28, 2009 @ 3:01 PM i've never gotten so jealous just by looking at a picture... fml stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop hey we had a chilled and proper and like.. chilled and non murder conversation yesterday yayyy i wanna be us again. Labels: cafeworld

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the worlds lost another - @ 2:21 PM I'm here to pay my respects to family of which im not related to a friend i've never met may you R.I.P to the man upstairs, look after him till the day we finally meet just rest till the day oh second heartbeats may angels lead you in Labels: Amir Gan

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Good bye i guess - Sunday, December 27, 2009 @ 9:15 PM Did you wanted this to happen like this? Did you believe that things always slowly die. The things you want... The things you love.... The things you do... Those good times you had with us... All just memories now in my mind... It will never disappear... I hope your doing good up there.. When its finally my turn to ascend.. I'll finally manage to live in paradise with you.. Good night...my sweet uncle Labels: Time flies when your breathing...

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25th - Saturday, December 26, 2009 @ 2:16 PM do I still remember the last time I saw him smile? durin the times we were all content with life probably I still remembered those lines Ming and I laughed and repeated constantly : ) ? " huang how many jolly shandys have u dranked? " " just two only " " bullshit " hahah .. haha? "don't go anywhere until I come back " I guess he didn't remember those words it saddens me deeply to see one so close fly towards the clouds without sayin goodbye.. it happened so fast we couldn't catch the flying soul, -XXXXXXX- ... and if you think back what was I doing what was he doing at the moment, I remember he was still smiling.. i look at you now and I can see a little sprit died within yourself, torn and taken. you carry an aura of sadness and only yesterday u was smiling and laughing now you're sitting in the room staring at your phone trying to contact the others "are you sad?" I remembered he told me he can't cry.. and so he's hardened soul that he has been building up all these years shallows the sadness and carries on.. you always tells me to use my brain and not my heart I guess you're showing us that you're strong, for the family.. ... well I've known him for 16 years and it has been a pleasure, (25 December) brings christmass sadness

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Christmas sadness - Friday, December 25, 2009 @ 4:12 PM Rest in Peace ..

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- @ 3:01 AM i fucking give up you dont even try to make things better why do i bother,, Labels: gw

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butterd toast - Thursday, December 24, 2009 @ 7:52 PM he's smiling... but he doesn't mean it. hhe misses how they used to be... and he misses how it was so real how they cared for each other but most of all, he misses her always being there for him with her telling him everything will be okay because he needs that now, more then ever. he's sick of feeling like something's missing.. Not everything's gonna be picture perfect sometimes.. things take time and sometimes, they have a rough time to get through, before you even get there but if you give up on things you want... then.. everything you've already gone through ends up being completely worthless and maybe.. if someday you realise we havnt talked in awhile it's not because i dont care anymore.. its because you pushed me away and just left me there. tell me what i have to do tonight because i'd do anything to make it right im sorry for the way i lost my head let's be us again because i'm sorry i'm not the guy you wanted Labels: sorry

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- @ 3:56 PM as he sits in the corner face to the floor he dispels smoke from his lips and slowly floats away with it letting go of so much pain his tears are thick enough to stain the pavement that slowly becomes his best friend when he needs to run away... broadway is dark tonight i quit. everything i used to think that if i liked you enough, you'd realise and like me back you just lost the one guy who thought nothing was wrong with you Labels: the quitter

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- @ 12:04 AM Tonight is the one thing left and he hasnt said anything yet he's falling and he's writing on the walls today was misery and he cant believe it happened he finally brokedown now he's crying out... secret love my escape take me far far away secret love are you there? will you answer my prayer? please take me anywhere but here he has 2 girls in mind the one that killed him the one that brought him back and when he's with her thoughts of her disappear if he fell apart she'd heal this pain he felt my name is amir gan, i make this obvious for my totally unrelated sister whom i love very much (: she's always looking out for me, what a stalker and on the other hand, i fucked up bad... and i just ruined my friendship with the best friend you could ask for sigh... im sorry for everthing i hope you'll forgive me.. dont you ever wish, you could just turn back time? or maybe edit undo things would've been the same if i just kept my mouth shut.. you have no idea how much i wish everything could just go back to normal i'd give anything to have you back and to have us back to what we were im sorry, that im such a fucking asstard his mind is gone, he's spinning 'round and deep inside his own tears, he'll drown he's losing grip whats happening? you were my best friend, till i screwed everything up and it cut me like a knife when you walked out of my life.. the boy? well.. he's in a condition with all the symptoms of a boy with a broken heart. how did i get here with you... i'll never know i never meant for it to get so personal and after all i tried to do to stay away from loving you im broken hearted. im not in love with you. i'll stay away i'll do whatever i can im just gonna stop because, i want you back so badly i miss you every night maybe after new years? see you soon Labels: a

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- Wednesday, December 23, 2009 @ 11:32 PM AMIR GAN DOESNT LIKE KATY JONES best friends like spongebob and patrick (:

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- @ 11:02 PM tonight was happy was sad was happy was sad was happy was sad stayed sad got happy stayed happy now sad. no mentioning hurt more than it should

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feelin blank - @ 5:51 AM I'm lacking inspiration. emotion and sense in need of a little of it.. .. been gone for far too long where is everything? somebody say something!! I need to feel again.. to see mabye s.o.m.e.o.n.e again..

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- @ 12:21 AM The boy tries to move on but everytime the girl tell him she loves him he trips and he gets hurt sticks and stones may break his bones but her words they surely kill if i was with you right now i bet you my life we'd continue right where we left off no matter what because first loves, are scarred on your heart forever and always and when you promise forever you mean it. i wish for now, you'd stop saying i love you maybe in 5 years i'd smile again hearing you say that remember our promise? if im 25 and we're both single we'd get married i have amazing insurance why am i thinking of you again, we only talked for 5 seconds.. Labels: aaa

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- Tuesday, December 22, 2009 @ 7:43 PM the man best friend the woman best friend the woman best friend knows the man best friends better than he knows himself the best friends share a laugh its obvious they love each other but just as friends they care for each other boy: hey you girl: hahahhahhah boy: whats so funny? girl: why are you wearing make up? you're a guy ahah doosh boy: im not wearing make up? girl: yes you are, that smile boy: im smiling... since when was that bad? girl: fake smiles are always bad boy: its not fake girl: yes it is boy: what makes you say it's fake? girl: im your best friend boy: you know me too well. creeper stalkerrr girl: teehee, so whats wrong? boy: im depressed (: girl: you suck boy: you swallow :) girl: dirty boyyy boy: teeheee so what happens when the one falls for the other? Labels: lemonade cuisine

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aaaaaaaachoo - Monday, December 21, 2009 @ 11:21 PM yea... you know that post where i used alot of colors? i think i might have had a littttlee mental brokedown breakdown NO BROKEDOWN SOUNDS COOLER (: teehee ahhaha so yea fml, the new post, the one before this just to lighten up the mood :) we have to talk. i think thats all i have to say. wednesday? maybe? Labels: rima is my name back to front

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i'll do anything - @ 4:31 PM go make your next choice i could be your best choice are you in the mood for some dude? or would you rather just mingle? let's get set to go then, let's just jet ike the jetsons you can be jane my wife should i marry jane tonight? i would if i could.. i'd do anything spontaneously or lets just keep chilling like ice cream filling we can be cool and the gang (: if you'd rather hang this place is getting crowded if you could be nimble you'd have to be simple like me :) so go on, try it dont deny yourself the freedom of being simply awesome simply spartan hahaha so lets go c'mon step up to the plate and get a date with A Gan ;) you better act fast, because supplies they never last now did you know that this is a limited time offer? make up your mind, before our time's up better wind it up, things are almost over and you should know, i can go a little bit slower you know i would, and i can prove it. Labels: Guess who i am

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- @ 4:22 PM WHY I fucking hate that word...

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Christmas joy? - @ 1:41 PM it's almost Christmas, the season to be joyous and relax.. ..all those green, white and red dosent that leave tingles in your body? mabye a little shiver? does the the calming stale tunes of christmas carols brighten your day? so have you tried being in alone in the quite of your room and turned on one of the carols? turned on your a.c to the max bcuz it can get a little toasty in Malaysia? then quickly climb the steps into your bed and snuggle tight into your blanket, and allow your body to search for the warmth, pls do forget the make up forget the fashion and put on some comforts mabye your favourite pjs and as you lay there allow your mind to drift off into the infinity of space but does your mind come across the astoroid feild? where your wants and hopes don't come through? like that little disabled boy/girl only wishing for mabye his/ her limbs to grow back? " moommy do u think Santa will Bring me back some seeds to grow back my toes? " poor boy only wanted to feel how funny it would be when he wiggled his little toes. ..once again so do u know where your heart is? I know where mine is.. so enjoy your Christmas with the life we take of granted, pls .. live to max

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- Sunday, December 20, 2009 @ 4:01 PM I dont know why. you never liked meeee and you never would. you never led me on you never said, or did anything to suggest that you liked me but i liked you anyway i think you're gorgeous (: anddd im just head over feels for you i know you're beautiful. which means silly guys are throwing themselves at you from all directions maybe you'd consider me one of those silly guys maybe i am.. i cant believe i is doing thisss haha i cant believe i like you so much i lie to some saying i dont like you to others because you dont like me. AND THE TRUTH IS i like you i might even love you buttttt actually i dont know you dont like me back i cant escape from that fact what do you want me to do? im just a guy.. i believe in fairy tales :) there's only so much hurt i could handle i guess im not good enough for you people wont pair me with you you are the golden girl im just the guy in the shadows... i love you how many times do you want me to say that? i love you i do i do I DOES (: i dont know what i want.. do i want you to love me too? i dont know well, i do i dont know.. this hurts tooo muchh aiyoo im suffering it sucks things arent meant to be likes this in fairy tales princes and princesses are supposed to live happily ever after maybe I ISNT the prince? so then.. why do i think you're my princess.. i just dont know how to let go. would someone please teach me? i need to get over you. i hope i would Labels: a m i r

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- @ 2:33 PM i cant hide it anymore i love you and its the old story boy meets girl.

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give us a chance. - Saturday, December 19, 2009 @ 10:56 PM Is it a risk to love? What if it doesn't work out? Ah, but what if it does? -Peter McWilliams Labels: Amir

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enlightment - @ 12:30 PM A little birdy once told me, that I should be, trying not once but three times a charm that my heart beat to the tempo of a drum, and my little typing thumb making.you scream and come to the sound of the song with the knock of the gong you suddenly realize what you missing all along that little boy standing in rain with a bouquet of wet, damp, saddened flowers forgotten to be picked up due to the fear that when she touches the roses they will bite her back with the insecure torns she once felt before... ... but she doesn't notice ... that the little boy cut the torns off a blossomed flower blooming so open and kindness but why dosent she rush out in the rain and saved the flowers is she afraid that the rain will pull her down ? by dampening her and adding weight to her Hand Holding Heart that finally one day the rain pulls her so down that she never gets up .. again at this point the boy is enduring and securing everything the world has to throw at him and he gets fustrated and guess what he does ? he walks right up to her hands her the tornless flowers and goes in for the kiss ... this is how love is repaired xx enjoy

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if only you knew - @ 2:02 AM where do we stand? you're so... different to me now.. it really sucks... :( :( i miss you. i dont want to drift any further apart from you. cant we go back to normal? like seriously.,. im sorry if i did anything wrong. and im sorry that i like you but that doesnt mean everything has to completely change especially like this.. :( so please? can we make it through this avalanche? Labels: Amir

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today never happened. - Friday, December 18, 2009 @ 8:54 PM The tension is here. Between who you are And Who you could be. Between how it is And How it should be. I dare you to move :) Labels: M.A.A.S

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Anything can happen. - @ 7:01 PM G.C Graciano Tucho You were a damn good friend. Sucks like shit i never got to see you again... You take care up there yea? I'll join when my time's up. Love you bro. Santa Ana Cemetary Luanda, Angola It's your final resting place. Graciano Olivio Cruzeta "Tucho" R.I.P Graciano & his older sister at her wedding. 2 asians, and the african mafia (: fucking miss you guys. On sleepless roads the sleepless go. May angels lead you in. Labels: Amir Abdullah Sani

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I TRIED doosh - @ 6:18 PM Im looking at pictures of us, from before i liked you. hoping that it might help? worst idea i ever had. bahahhaa epic fail :) NEW PLAN TOMORROWWW and for noww well, yea im stuck on you :) Labels: wall.

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- @ 2:44 AM Hey. So i just realised, i've never actually straight out mentioned your name here. I think i'll keep it that way. But then again, i've already made it so obvious right? I mean.. i wasnt at any other girls house on a monday afternoon you're the only girl in my english class i've had feelings for. you're my best friend you're the B (: you RRRRR fucking amazing you're alot more than what i've already mentioned here :) bahhahaha so i was being a real sadass and using a random love calculator i found on hyuns blog yea... lovedrunk and crushing, you do the craziest things (: Muhammad Amir Abdullah Sani + _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ = 89.5% i think, thats really damn cool (: i've never actually told you in person, exactly how i feel. and, our conversation at shriyas.. never really finished properly interrupted by a phone call i think we need to talk. and i think you need to know, just how crazy i feel about you i find myself, scared that you'll read this and the others but i also find myself hoping that i'd cross your mind. hoping that i'd cross your mind long enough, to make you wonder whats on my mind. and by crossing your mind, and wondering whats on my mind, you'd read the blog. and by reading the blog, you'll no longer need to wonder whats on my mind. its all there. you're on my mind. i just find myself, hoping you'll read this, and maybe you'd realise that maybe i do deserve you :) wtf am i talking about.. its 3am again. im losing sleep. again. please dont feel guilty, its not your fault ITS MY HEART (: stupid retard, made me fall in love with my best friend. what a doosh. heart, if your name was JAMAL i'd say fuck you JAMAL. lol mallika (: I SHOULD TOTALLY HAVE A DIARY i tihnk i've already turned my blog posts to diary entries its time for a revolution babyyyy so yea, i think i'll go to bed. you're on my mind 24/7 360/12 haha all the time :) sweetdreams you're the best unicorn sheep in the world :) i'll find you some awesome grass to eat FROM SPARTA ahah im obsessed with 300 saddoo much. shriya bullied me today. MALLIKA SHARMA IS DAMN COOL OH OH OH DUDE!!! bahahhaha one more thing. i will always be here for you. forever and always im the guy, you can talk to about anything. and, im also the guy thats crushing on you like some sad loser (: so now, what do you get when you combine the guy that you're totally comfortable with best guy friend SPARTAN the guy who's promised will always be your best friend the guy who's promised to look after you the guy who's told the world he's in love with you and the guy, who wont let anybody hurt you in my opinion. totally awesome boyfriend (: BAHAHHAHAH well i think its nice to fall for the best friend. i trust you and i care about you. and I ALREADY SAID EVERYTHING ALREADY. take a chance on me :) K "we'll make it, i swear" - Amir Gan in his dream before prom btw ian, i fucking da miss you, got a lotta da shit to tell you and da blog, has fucking transformeddddd :) its damn coool hahaha come back to the motherland :) Labels: AMIR teehee

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- Thursday, December 17, 2009 @ 10:01 PM NEW FACE

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mafia - @ 5:32 PM sometimes you have to follow your heart even if it leads you to a place you know you're not supposed to be... Yes please, counter ms fairy :) we love you G fada G wall G wise G tower Labels: amwayy

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Hopes - @ 1:42 PM you know i was wondering ..... if a fairy would put a counter on the blog ... just hoping .. you know ?

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penisman - @ 12:09 PM For the post below i remember your 3am post of omfg expression releaseee (: ahaha air hockey ftw arcade fun come back to the motherland g fadaaa the crew misses u the FAMALAY stupid crush,, Labels: this is family

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NO tittly - @ 11:40 AM Ok the tittle for the name is pretty random.. For the post below dayumm you write alot and coincidence in my opinion ppl get strikes of feelings that they need to express at 3 am hahha :) ..and for the rapistarah , holy flippinaduda made me laugh Would i invite my neighbours over and shit on the table ? keep you posted .. i went to the museum , then lunch , shopping , dinner and back Labels: Ian

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you're amazing - @ 1:58 AM and its so crazy how you walked into that room just like every other day ....except this time, my heart skipped a beat. and its actually tearing me up. having these feelings for you. but i cant get rid of them. late at night when all the world is sleeping i stay up and think of you. :) TEEHEEEEEE im sorry, i know im meant to be normal and pretend i dont like you and all that crap? but its like... SUPER HARD hahah i like you so much, im losing my mind (: for someone who's supposed to be "just friends" why do i always get butterflies in my stomach just thinking about you? no matter how many times i remind myself that we cant be together. i still wont let myself fall for anyone else. why am i still waiting for you? you already basically said no. so, why? we've known each other a year now in person friends :) best friends forr i dont even known anymore a long time :) how come i never noticed you before? well.. you did have a boyfriend. and, i had a girlfriend. and oh shit i have secrets i havnt even told you about i.was.a.bad.boyfriend. and so, i've realised i shouldnt be apologizing for my feelings. cos that would be like.. apologizing for the truth? thats bad :) i dont know if i like you or love you. i dont know if i want you or need you. all i know. is that i love the feeling i get when im near you when i broke up with T _ _ _ A i thought.. i'd lose the ability to smile for no reason (: i was right. but you gave that back to me thank you, i wish, you'd realise just how amazing you are to me and how amazing we could be and just how amazing yea :) i wish the dream i had before prom came true it was the best i wish, i was more than just a friend to you i wish you'd fall for me too i wish for alot of things IM A BEGGAR (: hhahahhaa i wonder what'll happen if you end up reading alllll of this and all the other posts :O if it does anything, i've never thought about you in 'that' way before this crush or falling in like or love i dunno RUSH OF OMFG EMOTION I HAVE FOR YOU is purely based on how much i love being with you (: you're fucking amazing your smilee your laugh your eyes your retardedness in your room (: your fake crying cos your ex called you a bitch (: your extreme addiction to sms'ing your B in BFF (: your 'AIYOO' in maths :) your living close to me your being a day older than me hahah no wait, thats not something i should like hahahah i think i fell in love with our friendship i had fun putting sparkly stuff on the christmas tree :) anddd my mind was on overdrive, i completely forgot the speakers ahahha fml. it hurt to hear you talk about how much you liked him... this is a MOTHERFUCKING LONG POST TEEHEEE we'll always be best friends. and thats a promise. and if something magical happened, it'd just be even better :) thats how i see whats going on. you tried to see me more than a friend but you cant cos its weird, cos im your bff? i know from experience, that two best friends getting together actually IS fucking amazing :) if you're scared cos of what happened with her then just know that you're here and she's there and we'll have no reason to ever break up unless you randomly decide to tell me you're a jew NAZII REGIMEE OVENS PREPARE HAHAHAH jk jk that was rude, i apologize worldwide to everyone. i honestly dont know what im saying anymore, its 3 in the morning and im writing this talking to myself FOR EVERYONE TO SEE why dont you give us a chance? and you'll see just how amayzing we could bee (: i've said amazing so many times you're amazing hahaha no really you are everything about you (: and what you wrote on my status.. you deleted the ones i did but why didnt i delete mine? it took me awhile to realise but after i did i realised, it was cos its true (: DELETING THE TRUTH IS BADD muahahha im not scared to tell you exactly how i feel im just scared to see how you react im not ready to be broken again :( you can fix me :) FIX MEE PLEASEEE hehehhehe ok i'll say it now and i wont regret it i love you Labels: Amir Abdullah Sani

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WHATACATCH,[insert name here] - Wednesday, December 16, 2009 @ 10:14 PM No one in that picture wrote this.. or did they? I'm sick of hearing the same old song. That shits getting old dear. Same story, different interest. Tired eyes You are all the same... Overhead, our love fades Tired of wasting sleep... It's funny how not everyone realises who this is... Miss. Fack said "I still want you back" Now it's up to you to determine who Miss Flack is and who she wants back. Darling please, I'm the one who charmed the one Who gave up on you. Fuck you spell checker for saying I typed colour wrong. I'M USING THE QUEENS ENGLISH BITCH! LOOK AT ALL THE PRETTY COLOURS! Wipe that smile off your fucking face. :) I just wanna make you smile so heres something different. Labels: SUPRISE RAPE

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- @ 7:42 PM YOU MAKE MY HEART SMILE ...... teehee (: let's just be friends. and who knows maybe you'll fall for me too :) and if you dont.. i'll trip you :) HEHEHEHHEHEHHEHE Labels: teehee boy (:

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A girl - @ 2:34 PM Her name is sacred and it rhymes with supacalafraagelistichippiileceuouuarah or americah or pizzah or kakah or hahah Guess who it is? Answer: Mc Quay !! jk Yeah you know who it is .. the only person who reads the blog. i'll try to keep posting since you requested:) Labels: Ian

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Sweet Darling - @ 2:10 PM Fine. I admit it. I think of you every second of every day. You're my favourite subject to talk about. When i hug you, i wish i could never let go. Most of all my dreams have you in them. I always get excited when i see you again. [][] \_____/ ahahha wtf, that's a damn cool smile spartan :) Labels: Is My Confession., This

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wawawewa - @ 2:01 PM Your favourite colour :) For you I Will i always want what i can't have but I've got to try. she's my favourite hello. and my hardest goodbye. Labels: the best friend

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- @ 1:26 AM Among your friends. I care for you the most Among your friends. I love you the most Among your friends. You hurt me the most Because i know that's all i am to you... Among your friends... :( Labels: sad loser

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- Tuesday, December 15, 2009 @ 9:30 PM i love you Labels: //

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- @ 12:14 AM i wish you could see how perfect we could be Labels: ..

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THIS IS SPARTAAAAA - Monday, December 14, 2009 @ 11:29 PM I actually LOVE talking to you hahaha it makes me happy (: ahhhhhh! i really really really reallyreallyreallyreallyreallyreally like you hahaha fml. im sorry that i do. it caught me by surprise i think its a bit retarded im apologizing for liking someone oh well nothing is normal when you're SPARTAN! Labels: spartan

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aiyoooo - @ 3:37 PM i dont want to get over you. but everyone says i have to and i guess their right.. but its just so fucking harddd i think you're amazing AIYO (: Labels: if you read this, you know who i am.

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moomooo - Saturday, December 12, 2009 @ 4:39 PM so put your best dress on and wrap yourself in the arms of someone who wants to give you all the love you want Labels: ahhhmeeerrr gahnn

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heyy - @ 2:25 PM THINGS TO DO TODAY: (1) Wake Up (2) Think of You ♥ (3) Survive and i wish sometimes, when i tell you im fine, you'd look me in the eyes and say "tell me the truth" and its insane how i can have a completely shit day and just talking to you completely changes my mood question 10. you have no idea how much i wish your answer was yes how much i wish your answer was me question 13 same story same sad story im such a saddo i really really like you and i know saying that doesnt do anything but its nice to let it out at least i tried and who knows, maybe you'll read these and change your mind (: yea... who am i kidding and i wish more than anything, that last night would be the same as my dream the night before. it was a nice dream. it made me smile. it made me happy. we didnt even talk. at all :( it hurt i dont know what to think anymore fml. im seriously just writing everything here about this, in no order at all. this is how spartans do it HURGHH! i've given up. i havnt given up on you. i've given up, on trying to give up on you. im smart enough to not bother with something so hard spartan logic is undeniable (: btw. am i number 4? if there was a word between like and love i'd use that to tell you exactly how i feel about you im gonna stop all the bad habbits. all for you i really hope you feel better im a fucking idiot. Labels: the idiot.

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sheep <3 - Wednesday, December 9, 2009 @ 11:37 PM Yeah We started as friends But something happened inside me Now I'm reading into everything But there's no sign you hear the lightning I've made it obvious I've crushed on you so long, but on and on you get me wrong I'm not so good with words And since you never notice The way that we belong I'll say it in a love song and you dont even notice how i stare when we're alone you're my first thought in the morning and my last at night (: and, you're the crush that came without warning i'll say this until the day you're holding me i adore you and im in like with you but since you never seem to see i'll say it in this love song Labels: Amir Gan

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im in like with you - Tuesday, December 8, 2009 @ 10:56 PM and you were always there so how come i never noticed you before? how come now now i do? and i really really really do like you and you dont and now im depressed ffs why do i always have to be so fucking depressed its not healthy sweet darling, this is my confession to the crimes of wanting you and if you're still wondering yes. i like you i dont love you i cant love you or at least i dont think i do. i am truly madly deeply in like with you hearts and rosess Labels: she's coming over like a suicide

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It comes - @ 7:23 PM They say it takes a life time for a person to change... You take some isolation add a little of worry and trouble and mix it all into a pot of desperation and need. It forms an aura of negativity, and when u look "who is that?" the words sip through your nose, down the neck , pass the muscles and into the heart change is inevitable but for the bad isn't The openness , the caring, the laughs i feel now what was supposed to be felt months ago .. Every now and then i peak through the corner of my saddened eye ... is it still her? question: is this still me? man it really sucks.. i can't do anything because somehow i kinda blame myself for having to do something with this.. all those dammed feeling turned my head i cant bare to be away from you but neither can i be beside you.. I cant help but know there's a little something inside the colorful butterfly which contains my little black and white patch Everybody knows, everybody knows where we're going .. yeah we're going down ... Labels: I make is as vague as possible but the message is there

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scarecrow died today - Tuesday, December 1, 2009 @ 10:55 PM SCARECROW DIED TODAY! amir is back but he's so fucking fragile right now oh no. the best friend? hey its you all over again isnt it? maybe you dont see me like that right now, but neither did the other one 2nd times the charm it isnt funny how the one's that promised they'd never hurt you, hurt you the worst Labels: Amir Gan

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anteater - @ 12:09 AM when this over we're all getting older now. but everyone's still hiding till the end? Labels: hepatitis

profile Basically Ian says all the shit, Ming laughs and Amir buys the teddybears for the little kids ☜♥☞ herstory wishlist Ian wants: nuts lots and lots of nuts to fill his hands Ming wants: to not look like ian Amir wants: to be more than just the crush's best friend

others Previous Posts: Mind Blowing? ; Im thinking of making a new blog .. just me .. but... ; im not ganna deny it.. this sucks :( ; I would hate to be the characters in my mind ; THats it ; I always feel so alone.I don't know what to do..I'... ; Glamorous Indie rock and roll ; Tools ; i like you so much. every single day when i see yo... ; I have to stop lying to myself; I really like You.... ; Previous Months: May 2008 ; June 2008 ; July 2008 ; August 2008 ; September 2008 ; October 2008 ; November 2008 ; December 2008 ; January 2009 ; February 2009 ; March 2009 ; April 2009 ; May 2009 ; June 2009 ; July 2009 ; August 2009 ; September 2009 ; October 2009 ; November 2009 ; December 2009 ; January 2010 ; February 2010 ; April 2010 ; May 2010 ; June 2010 ; November 2010 ; December 2010 ; January 2011 ; February 2011 ; QUOTES "MOTHA FUCKA!" - Ian "blah blah blah blah blah, i'm gay" - Ian "hey a hot chick like you should hang with a hot guy like me," - Ian, attempting to get a girl and failing "omg wtf just happened?" - Ming "we arrive we raise hell then we leave to the RESTAURANT " - herstory "JEWS ARE EVIL!!!" - Amir, Ian, Ming, "Like your face" MING amir ian "father mother bastard" - amir "kanniniabo cibai bastard fucker, i throw ur mother old shoe your father cibai londek, sohai babi kan ni niabo cibai father mother bastard ar roti pisang, niama ci bai fuck you "Ian , amir